The last trait of genuine people, as outlined in a recent article, is that they practice what they preach.
Genuine people are not self-righteous. They are comfortable in their own skin, know who they are and what they can do, and don’t set themselves up in judgement over anyone else.
Living with genuineness makes it less likely that you will advise someone to do something that you yourself would not do.
Of course, there will be exceptions to this, but this is about being true to yourself and ensuring there is no discrepancy between what you say and what you do. This is about having behaviour patterns that fit with our internal selves and our values.
This is about consistency, integrity and transparency.
The key to this, as with much of what life coaching entails, is proactive self awareness. Not just being aware and then ignoring what we see, but being self aware and living consistently with our own stated beliefs and priorities.
This links very closely with the importance of doing what you say and saying what you mean, which muse on a few weeks back.
What you see is what you get.
I used to work as a physiotherapist (physical therapist) and I know there were times when I did not follow through on advice I needed that I would give a patient.
Full disclosure – I did not always do my own exercises.
But I am learning that taking one’s own medicine (more on that here and here) is an important aspect of practicing what you preach.
Genuine people don’t need to spend a lot of time on image management, curating what is inside to fit the image that they want others to see outside. Nor does there need to be a lot of controlling of what is internal. When we believe something but say something quite different, that can be exhausting and requires a constant level of control.
It sounds very harsh, but in some ways this is a form of deceit.
Once you start to lie about something, it is very hard work to remember what lies you have told and to whom, and to continue to present a consistent front. I heard a recent interview with a very senior police detective who worked undercover within a criminal gang.
The mental and emotional effort of living such a double life without getting caught took a huge toll on him.
This is an extreme example of course.
But it raises the point of how much easier it is to practice what you preach.
It is less hard work and requires less energy. It is about being clear on who you are, what matters most, and what you want. And then following through with behaviour that is consistent with that.
Take time this week to do some self reflection, as I spoke about last week. It is important that we take time during our often too busy lives to stop, notice what is going on inside, and then narrow any gaps between the internal and external.
To practice what we preach we need to know what we are preaching in the first place.
If we say something is important to us, does our behaviour back that up?
Food for thought this week.